My unfinished journey to freedom

FFRF is extending support to the writer below under its “nonbelief relief” campaign, which largely helps freethinkers needing to flee Islamist nations. The hardships not only involve escaping such regimes, but then living in limbo in a temporary nation while awaiting a country that will extend asylum. FFRF asked “Aras” to share his experiences with its membership.

By Aras

I am an atheist born in Iran.

I was raised in a religious family, but, fortunately, I had an enlightened and well-read father from whom I inherited my views. In my teenage years, encouraged by my father, I read works by modern Iranian writers such as Sadegh Hedayat, Shojaeddin Shafa and Abdolhossein Zarrinkoub. These shaped my perspective and sparked questions forbidden in an Islamic society. In Iranian schools, performing religious duties like praying, fasting, reciting slogans and wishing death upon other nations was mandatory. I was repeatedly reprimanded and punished at school for refusing to comply with these obligations.

At the age of 14, I lost my father, a compassionate mentor. Though he was gone, my mother’s support continued. During that time, access to the internet was gradually becoming common, introducing me to a new world filled with books and figures like Richard Dawkins, Stephen Hawking, Baruch Spinoza, Carl Sagan and, my greatest inspiration, Christopher Hitchens. This highlights the importance of free internet access in religiously oppressive dictatorships and explains Iran’s heavy censorship. The vast amount of information and knowledge was the greatest gift I could have received.

Through hard work, I gained admission to a public university to study management. However, in 2009, during protests against dubious election results, I participated and spoke at student debates about the importance of separating religion from politics in Iran. This led to attacks from Islamist students and professors. On the evening of the debate, while returning home, I was assaulted by several individuals and stabbed in the hand, leaving me with lasting issues in my right hand. They threatened that secular individuals in a society ruled by Allah are condemned to death. Bleeding and with only a small bandage, I was forced to return to my hometown, Shiraz, for surgery. To save my life, I had to abandon my university studies, giving up my greatest dream and right.

In 2011, I anonymously started a Facebook page to critique Islam and its political influence. By early 2014, cyberharassment and threats began. That year, several people in Iran were arrested for online activism and criticizing Islam, and one person, Mohsen Amir-Aslani, was executed in September 2014. I shut down the page and ceased my activities. In March 2015, I was abducted on the street by individuals claiming to be agents of the Revolutionary Guard’s intelligence unit. They held me in a tiny room, where I endured torture, abuse, threats and humiliation. In those days, I witnessed the death of humanity and wished for death every minute. After a few days, I was released due to insufficient evidence, but they confiscated all my documents, including my passport, and forced me to attend daily religious classes at the local mosque and pray.

In late October 2015, I was summoned by phone to a Revolutionary Guard base, but unable to endure further humiliation and torture, I decided to flee Iran. I left behind my mother, family, friends and all my memories, carrying only a backpack and the longing to see my family again. Without a passport, which had been seized, I illegally crossed into Turkey. After immense hardship, I reached Turkey and presented myself to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) in Ankara. The agency sent me to a remote city with no support, marking the beginning of my refugee journey.

In 2017, after posting on Facebook in support of sexual minorities using the hashtag #allahisgay, I was attacked by colleagues, who broke two of my ribs and my nose. With no one to support me, I realized Turkey was not safe either.

Unfortunately, with Donald Trump’s rise to power, resettlement operations were halted, and I had to endure four years of hardship, poverty and uncertainty, pinning my hopes on American voters in 2020. However, even with a liberal government, there was no place for me in the free world. Thankfully, with the support of Maryam Namazie and organizations like Council of Ex-Muslims of Britain and Center for Inquiry, I was referred to Canada under a secularism rescue program. My case was accepted in 2022, and the process of transferring to Canada began in 2023.

With Trump’s reelection in 2024 and its impact on immigration and refugees, my transfer process was extended from one year to five. After 11 years of living without rights in Turkey, I must wait three more years.

Throughout these years, I have lived with one dream: to live in a free society with the right to free speech and to study at a university — rights taken from me for defending the freedom of expression. I have been broken, bent, sometimes hungry, and have at times contemplated ending my life due to the hardships. Yet, I persisted, standing today thanks to the support of kind and freethinking people. I live and continue for the dream of a world without torture or persecution, where freedom of speech and thought are upheld.

I conclude with a quote from Mashal Khan, a Pakistani student brutally killed by his classmates on April 13, 2017, for expressing his atheist views: “Islamic culture and society are like a woman worried about her torn clothing revealing her body, not her poverty and destitution.”