Published by the Freedom From Religion Foundation, Inc. FFRF.org

Heads Up poetry column: Five Easy Prayers for Pagans

Vol. 36 No. 08 October 2019

Five Easy Prayers for Pagans

         (This excerpts two of the five.)

1

O Karma, Dharma, pudding & pie,

gimme a break before I die:

grant me wisdom, will, & wit,

purity, probity, pluck, & grit.

Trustworthy, helpful, friendly, kind,

gimme great abs and a steel-trap mind.

And forgive, Ye Gods, some humble advice—

these little blessings would suffice

to beget an earthly paradise:

make the bad people good

and the good people nice,

and before our world goes over the brink,

teach the believers how to think.

        

4

O Mammon, Thou who art daily dissed

by everyone, yet boast more true disciples

than all other gods together,

Thou whose eerie sheen

gleameth from Corporate Headquarters

and Vatican Treasury alike, Thou

whose glittering eye impales us

in the X-ray vision of plastic surgeons,

the golden leer of televangelists,

the star-spangled gloat of politicos— 

O Mammon, come down to us in the form

of Treasuries, Annuities, & High-Grade Bonds,

yield unto us those Benedict Arnold Funds,

those Quicksand Convertible Securities, even the wet

Judas Kiss of Futures Contracts­—for

unto the least of these Thy supplicants

art Thou welcome in all Thy many forms. But

when Thou comest to say we’re finally in the gentry—

use the service entry.

From Karma, Dharma, Pudding & Pie